Removing The Root Of Negativity - Part Three

 All Your Enemies Are Within You

We've covered our external world and talked about our toxic childhoods and how both contribute to the never-ending negative thoughts and feelings we carry with us every single day like a life sentence. We feel helpless to change it. Or we think it's too hard or that 'this is just the way I am". 

So today, let's cover the very important information we all need in order to take charge of our thoughts and, thereby, our lives.

First, on the most superficial level, replace all the violence, negativity and frankly, stupidity that tv, movies or social media hurl at you from the moment you wake up. There are many, many programs and podcasts, speakers and books that, if used regularly, will automatically change the way you perceive the world.

Second, before your feet touch the floor, say a positive statement. A word of thanks, a positive affirmation or just a simple, "All is well" will set the tone of your day. All you have to do is look around to see how many people are lost in worry, anger and anxiety to realize how many people do not practice this.. Those states are all-consuming if we don't make a conscious effort to reverse them and make a decision to speak and think positively.  You can do it. But first you have wake up and look at what you're thinking. Listen to how you talk to others and yourself. Are you judgmental, short tempered or frightened? Are you always complaining? 

Every morning,  look yourself in the mirror and repeat over and over, "I am lovable and I am safe (or some short phrase that makes you breath more easily). Say it as it already is, not some distant wish. When we do 'mirror work' we are forced to look at who we really our not what our negativity-infused mind tells us repeatedly.

These 'enemies' that live free in your head are possibly the ONLY things you can control in this life. Viktor Frankl, who spent years in a concentration camp, wrote, "We cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how we cope with it."

Has living in the darkness of negativity worked for you so far? And don't forget the body is holding on to all of it. 

Third - and this is often the hardest part - release those that have hurt you. I write about this in my book and so have many, many others, because holding on to unforgiveness gives all that negative energy a place to breed. Go back and re-read Part Two where I write about how toxic childhoods mold innocent children into negative, angry adults. And if there are other people in addition to your parents who would fit in that picture, it's time to release them, too. 

Remember, this is NOT about accepting their behavior and absolutely does not act as an opening for them to continue those behaviors. 

Let all those rage-filled fantasies about getting back at them go. They don't need to know you're doing this. If the word "Forgiveness" is just too painful a word, try this,

"I release you. And I release myself from the pain." Just say it quietly with no audience. And like any good habit, you'll have to do it over and over until you feel nothing where the pain used to live.

Finally, practice smiling, speaking with upbeat words to others. Remember to pay attention to your breath and take good care of your body. Its my experience that when we start down this road, some 'friends' will fall away. That's okay. We all go through those empty times when it seems like we're alone. But it is 100% true that as you evolve into a calmer, peaceful and less negative (we're not going for perfection here - just progress) new friends will appear from the oddest places.'

This brief primer on how to let go of negativity just touches on the basics, but I hope it's ignited a fire in you to learn more. Be patient and love yourself. Remember : YOU are the only one who can think in your mind. Take charge of it. 

Jeanette Menter

03-03-24