Removing The Root Of Negativity - Part One

 Finding The Light Switch

When I stop and make a point of taking in all the input I receive in a normal day, it's overwhelming to realize that most of it is negative.

We live in a world that appears to be determined to keep us in a constant state of anxiety and despair. The news is 100% focused on the worst. Social media is bursting with people and businesses that play on our fears. It seems that almost everyone talks in hostile and angry tones. Civility appears to have died. Things sure seem dark a lot of the time....but we do have control over how we perceive the world.

While I'm not going get into the societal issues of the day, I am going to talk about recognizing when WE are feeding into that dark cycle, WHERE our world view  started and HOW to break free of the bond of negativity. 

In this first part, we'll go into our immediate surroundings. In the Part Two, I'll write about "Childhood - The Fountainhead of Negativity". Finally, in Part Three, I'll offer methods which will help you create the positive mindset you want.

Who Are You Listening To?

It was astounding to me to finally become aware of how much negativity I was surrounded by. Almost without exception, everyone I talked with used words that  that were either cynical, angry or fearful. In my determination to live in a positive world and NOT one filled with pessimism, I'm realizing that there are a few people - some are old friends - that I have to let go. And it's not all on them. I have been a willing participant in fanning the flames of negativity. But once you become aware of how all these dark, angry words drain you (and you are draining others), there isn't a choice if you truly want peace. For me it's a physical sensation. I can feel my energy leaving and my mood sinking. I feel exhausted. I'm not willing to quietly give myself away out in order to fit in, or be a willing participant in a negative conversation anymore.

The process of turning sad, dark and fearful thoughts into positive ones is especially hard for people who come from traumatic backgrounds where negativity was the basis of everything they learned, including self-image and self-worth. I'll go into that in Part Two. The point is you have to really want to heal from a lifetime of seeing the world through the lenses of despair, anger or fear. But you can do it.

The first step is awareness. Take a couple seconds and review your surroundings. What are you listening to? Who are you communicating with? Are the conversations gossipy, depressing, complaining?  We all do it so I'm not judging. But I am saying that when you become aware of these things, you'll feel a little nagging deep inside that will make you want to stop being a part of it or turn off whatever is sucking your energy away from you. 

You can begin the process of turning each thought from the habitual negative ones you've repeated your entire life, to a deliberate ones that leave you feeling hopeful and lighter. Those of us who did come from dysfunctional homes might think this is impossible. 

"Well, things really are awful, you know." We can control how we let life affect us.

"I can't help it!" Yes, you can.

"It's too late." It's never too late.

"I'm too old, I am what I am." Are you ok with who you are? If not, then you can change.

"I tried and it didn't work." Comments like this become true because if you try something positive a couple times and then say the same old negative stuff you've said a thousand times before like, "It won't work," the negative will win over the new and positive simply because you've said it over and over for decades. Change takes not only time but determination.

The next time you're watching a show or scrolling or chatting with a friend, notice the feeling you're getting. If you're losing energy and feeling unfocused or stressed - you're being showered with negativity and you can make the decision to turn it off, walk away or change the tone of the conversation. Also, just because a negative comment is cloaked in humor, doesn't make it less negative. Don't be fooled. Listen to your body.

You have plenty of power within you to change your environment and you're thinking. The first step is awareness. It'll feel a bit overwhelming at first but think of it as finally tapping into your true potential. 

You're in charge of your thoughts and your surroundings. Make a decision to change the direction of a conversation when it becomes dark or gossipy. Be aware of your thoughts and replace old, stale thoughts with new and hopeful ones. I'll provide some tips on that in Part Three.

Next: "Childhood - The Fountainhead Of Negativity

Jeanette Menter

3-1-24