Codependency Central

I haven't met one person yet who's working to overcome codependency that hasn't had a dream of their life after passing through that storm. We need to want something better. It's the only reason we even start down this difficult path of healing. We want a better life! The goal of working through all the trauma, the abuse, the scars of our past is to grab onto and own that life we say we want. So what does that look like? The details are different for each person of course, but the overall vision is the same: peace, strength, self love, not living for approval and not fearing of judgment. Ultimately it's about becoming the person we should have been all along and building a life without all the destructive influences we experienced in past relationships and upbringing.  We see ourselves as deserving of good things. A peaceful environment (not to be confused with boring; just safe). We're able to breathe deeply and feel calm. We learn to accept who and what we are...

When codependent traits consume a person; when protecting oneself means being 'invisible', that person all too often grows up not having any idea who he or she really is. They will take on whatever personality they believe is required of them at the moment; parroting those around them, just to fit in or keep the peace. The result is they feel like frauds which brings on even more shame because they're terrified they'll be found out to be the faker they feel they really are. Also, when a person is always mimicking others, that person has a growing, unexplainable rage inside. This rage manifests in unplanned and unpleasant ways: losing their temper quickly, yelling, attacking others, being overly opinionated, judgmental (gossiping) and moody. All of this reflects back to the lie they were taught to believe somewhere long ago, "I'm not good enough." On top of every thought is the vague, endless sense of not knowing if what they're feeling is real or the r...